That Man
by AsparagusTheFirst
Summary: Yeoman Rand does some thinking


Author: Asparagus I

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or the characters, I just write. No money or profit is gained from this venture.

That Man

My name is Yeoman Rand. Well, Yeoman isn't my first name, but I'm referred to as "yeoman" so frequently that it might as well be. Starfleet is more about rank than individuality sometimes, but I just love my duties on Enterprise.

Away missions are an especially nice perk. However, the mission I was just on has forced me to re-look at some aspects of my life. We were on a planet where the children died as they went through puberty. The entire away mission was quarantined on the planet because we were all infected. It was horrible.

In my state of panic, I reached out to Captain Kirk. The disease made me jealous of his relationship with the girl, Miri. To put it plainly, I told Captain Kirk exactly how I feel about him. I never expected to live past this away mission, which is why I said anything at all. That, and the fact that he seemed to me to love Miri, and not me.

That man, Captain Kirk, has it all, so why wouldn't a woman be drawn to him? Be it Human or alien, he can charm the socks of a being of the opposite sex. He has so many attributes that any women of the crew alone would love to have him as theirs.

His name, James Tiberius Kirk is just regal. James Tiberius, even as it crosses my lips, I smile to remember that man who is attached to the name. His soft brown eyes can penetrate one's soul in less than a minute. He is well built, with sculpted muscles. Strong arms encapsulate one so tenderly. So strong because he works out rigorously in the gymnasium. His ship and his crew are of utmost import to him, and he would rather die than sacrifice any crewman. 

Back to the problem at hand…me versus Miri. Well, considering that I was in a jealous rage, the Captain was very understanding, and put me off very gently. I think it hurt him to have to hurt me. I had given up on Dr. McCoy finding a cure, but the Captain hadn't. When Dr. McCoy seemed to have died, the silence in the room was dense enough to cut with a knife. We all waited tensely for a few minutes, to see if he had killed himself with the cure, but he hadn't. 

Once aboard the Enterprise again, it was back to my normal duty shift. I needed Captain Kirk's signature on something, and this was before we even left orbit. I handed him my board, and as always, he signed it and handed it back to me. 

He understands that what I said was in the heat of the moment, that I wouldn't have said it unless I thought I was going to die, that I needed comfort at the time I said it. He had given it, looked out for his crew, again. It is a moment that is gone now forever, and by not treating me any differently when we were beamed aboard, I have learned that he expect business as usual.

StarFleet will expect me to be "back to normal" after this experience, also. I didn't take any time off…I don't think I need it. Just writing this is therapeutic.

There is one issue I need to resolve, but it's with myself more than anyone else. I do love Captain Kirk. Fiercely. I would die for him, too, the same as he would die for any of us. I don't believe this is something he will ever understand, and I cannot show him my feelings. He has never shown an interest in fraternizing with his crew, and a good captain wouldn't.

I have seen Nurse Chapel trying to ingratiate herself with Commander Spock. I do not really hold out much hope for the two of them. He is always kind to the crew…respectful, treating us the way he expects to be treated. Still, it's nothing more than that. However, she keeps trying. Maybe one day, she'll break through. He IS half-Human, after all.

My solution will have to be a little more "cold turkey," as they used to say. I think I'm going to have to ask for a transfer. I know there has to be a ship with a…hmmm…how do I put this down? With a less attractive commander. Yes, I think that would be best. Unless Jim, errr, Captain Kirk, wants me to stay on board. But I don't see it happening. He encourages us to be ourselves, and go the way we deem most appropriate. He would never hold anyone back. Maybe I can graduate to something bigger than just plain yeoman. Maybe one day, I can have him. Or maybe I'll find that someone who fulfills me once I've transferred. I don't know, because right now, that man has me under his spell.

The End


End file.
